Today was Mother’s Day. A day of celebrating being a mom. It is a difficult day to say the least when one of your children is missing from the equation. How do you cope, how do you get through the day? No easy answer to these questions. No possible way you can get through the day without feeling half empty. But I do my best to pretend. Talking to other Bereaved Parents, which I do often, I have learned one thing. Us bereaved Moms spend so many days pretending everything is ok. We pretend for our other children to help them move on and forward in life. We pretend for our spouses so that we spare them more pain, we pretend for our friends as no one wants to hear your pain and suffering. No one wants to be a “Debbie Downer”
The problem with pretending is it gets physically and mentally exhausting after a while. So how do I cope. How do I get through the day? I nap, and pretend, nap some more, pretend some more, and wait for the day to be over. Do I want to be able to genially celebrate this day just like everyone else, Yes? Realistically I don’t know if I ever will be able to celebrate like we used to. Today we went to the 2nd busiest place on Mother’s Day, the cemetery. We went to visit Ellie and as we sat and spoke to my baby, the girl that made me a mother, the girl that brought this title to reality. As I sat there I kept on thinking to myself how can this be, how can this be my future of all mothers’ days from now and forever. It is unfortunately the reality I live with on a day-to-day basis. What brings me closer to my daughter is seeing how much she was loved, her spirit and her fight, how much she inspired others. Her spirit inspires me to live my life. Not many that have buried their children can say their child made an impact on this world, but I can. I do have a fear every day that her memory will fade. Fade not with me but with the community, family, & friends. I think that is why I gravitate to memories and photos that people post on the #elliestrong forever page. It keeps her memory alive and strong and there for helps me be strong in a sense. So please keep posting photos or stories of inspiration etc. Help me keep her memory alive. Keep your eyes open Lemont as Green bows and signs are coming in Lemont for Ellie’s birthday. As we drove we saw a bunch up already.
I do want to wish all those Mother’s Out there a Happy Mother’s Day. And to my fellow Bereaved Mothers I wish you a peace and glimpse of some happiness on this day. Also, I wish you a quick Mother’s Day.
• Save the Date: Ellie’s Birthday Celebration this year Sunday, May 23rd
Next Mex – more details to come..
• Also, the #elliestrong forever garden can use some volunteers to weed and water. Here is the link to sign up https://www.signupgenius.com/go/30e0e4aaca829a5fb6-water2
I attached a map so you can see where the garden is located. It is a great thing to do with family, friends, Kid groups, etc. It truly is a special place to visit.
A mother with a battle ahead of her.