A joyous day finished by a very sad evening.

We had a very difficult night tonight. 
Although our day was filled with lots of smiles those led to many
tears.  Ellie got a new head of
hair today (wig) from the hair club for Kids.  Hair club for men have this great thing
that they supply children that are going through hair loss a head of hair for
  free.  So we were thrilled when
they called and told us Ellie’s head of hair came in. 
So when we got there they were fantastic about explaining
everything.  We had to shave the
remaining hair of Ellie’s in order to put the head of hair on. 
I think this was difficult for myself along with Ellie. 
It scared Ellie and she looked at me and said “But Mom” that was
difficult she was already almost done shaving the head at this point.  Luckily the girl was really quick and
put on the head of hair.  Ellie was
smiling from ear to ear.  She found
a new confidence.  We had a great
evening visiting with her grandpa and great-grandparents.

 Well we got home tonight and Ellie said it’s itching
and from there started the tears as I took the wig off.  
She flipped out and started to cry about how she doesn’t think her hair
will ever grow back and how she looks like a boy. 
I was shocked, this was the first time she expressed any concern about
the loss of her hair.  I questioned
myself if we did the right thing by getting her a head of hair. 
I tried to reassure her that her hair will grow back after the
chemotherapy.  She just kept on
saying “but what if it doesn’t”

 My heart aches everyday that Ellie just can’t be a normal 7 year
old.  She is missing out on some of
  the best times.  She is missing
learning to ride a two wheel bike because she doesn’t have the strength.  She is missing doing soccer because she
can’t get hit in the head.  How do
you explain to a sweet child that she cannot be a child and that her life is in
the hospital?  How can I tell her
everything is going to be ok when I’m not even convinced that is the truth?  As my eyes fill up with tears, my heart
aches for my sweet child.  

I really don’t have much more to say tonight but that I will be
giving everyone a very important update near the end of this weekend so please
check back.  
I will also post some before pictures and after pictures of Ellie’s wig.